Hanba has promised to write a happier post since the existentially rough post about the doggies…
This one is about acceptance. Hanba recently read a novel by a Swedish author called Anna Kåver, that made an impact in her life. The book’s title translates as “To live a life, not to win a war – on acceptance.”
Here, Kåver describes ways to gain a peace of mind through accepting the situations as they are. She is a psychologist dealing with cognitive behavioral therapy. She describes a method that can be applied to relieve some of the burdens of life. So next time you feel you have a problem, why not try the following method (shortened here a bit. ) The italics are my own observations here and now:
- Take a deep breath, open your palms
- Focus on your surroundings. Describe it. Be neutral, do not like or dislike what you see. I see the computer, the orange curtains to my left, a painting on the table, a fridge to my right.
- Focus on your body and your sensations here and now. My fingertips are cold, the cotton shirt and pants are soft, comfortable. There is tension in the neck. Thoughts are thoughts, let them come and let them go. I am so mad at my coworker! I just had a feeling of being angry at my coworker. Feelings are like waves – surf on them!
- Make a decision – choose to accept what you have observed. I accept being mad at my coworker. I accept my coworker.
- Choose to accept over and over again
- Accept what you cannot accept, respect yourself, have patience with yourself.
Hanba once attended a ten day Vipassana meditation course in Nepal. This method above has a lot in common with the meditation course. Apparently this method is called dialectic behavioral therapy and has its roots in eastern spirituality. Making you observe your surroundings and sensations makes you take distance to the problem while being anchored in the present moment.
Anyways, the method can definitely be recommended. While it may not make you happier as such, it takes some of the worst pain away. Which may, indirectly, lead to greater happiness. Or something. Hanba is no guru, but promises to report in case she finds a deeper happiness.